Furious fish reunited with owner

A community of cold water fish have spoken out after being reunited with the owner who abandoned them for over a year.

The four goldfish and the weathered eel had spent many happy years living in a dining room in Shillingstone, Dorset where they were loved and cared for by fish enthusiast Caroline Gough.

Malarkey, Chumley, Satsuma and Naranja

“Every need was met,” said Malarkey, the spotted fantail goldfish. “We had fresh bloodworms, dried daphnia, lovely ornaments to swim in and out of. Then suddenly in August 2017, she decides she’s going off on an adventure and rents her house out to someone with FOUR CATS. Obviously we couldn’t stay there. Our best friend Marmalade went off to live in a pond in Gillingham, and we were bundled into a campervan and driven two and a half hours to Devon to live in Caroline’s Mum’s laundry room for the next 15 months.”

Satsuma the common goldfish added “Apparently Caroline has been travelling around Australia and New Zealand. She didn’t even bother to tell us. Or maybe she did. Our memories aren’t very reliable.”

Caroline had a wonderful time on her travels and spent lots of time visiting aquariums and swimming in the sea with many other fish and marine life. “To say we are hurt is an understatement,” said Chumley the white faced goldfish. “We can swim just as well as those Australian fish. Why she needed to go all the way to the other side of the world just to see some fish when we were right there in her dining room is something we will never understand.”

The fish endured more upheaval on Wednesday evening when they were relocated to an address in the picturesque village of Georgeham, North Devon. “Once again we find ourselves living in a dining room with Caroline,” said Malarkey. “But everything’s different. The trust has gone. Is this our forever home or will she get itchy fins and decide to go off to find more fish in the sea? We are in a constant state of flux.”

Miss Gough was unable for comment, but a spokesperson revealed that Caroline has plans to knock a hole in a perfectly good interior wall at her home with the intention ofย  placing a tropical fish tank in the hole so that the same fish can be viewed from two different rooms.

“That’s ridiculous,” scoffed Satsuma. “Caroline can’t be in two places at once, this past year has definitely demonstrated that. She’s never going to be able to simultaneously stand in two different rooms and watch the fish from either side. What a ridiculous waste of time and money. I’m glad we’re not speaking to her.”

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