Concussion sparks reckless shopping spree

A British woman is blaming concussion for her inability to stop herself from spending money on things she wouldn’t usually buy.

Caroline Gough smacked her head hard against a wall and the floor on Thursday morning when moving backwards to avoid the ball during an intense game of dodgeball. And whilst her competitive nature saw her get up, return to the game and help to win it, it later emerged that she was suffering from a head injury that has altered her ability to manage her finances.

Caroline, who has a giant bump on the back of her head and a spectacular bruise on her left buttock didn’t realise the extent of her injuries until she popped into Barnstaple to visit the bank and discovered that late night Christmas shopping was in full swing.

“I was supposed to be racing into town after work to quickly pay in a cheque,” said Caroline. “But instead I got caught up in the merry throng of Christmas shoppers and never actually made it to the Halifax.”

Instead, Caroline visited almost every other retail establishment on the High Street, buying a variety of frivolous items as she went, including sonic blue nail varnish, an electric toothbrush and a bubble bath scented with Unicorn Candy because it smelt “weird but nice”.

Caroline’s most extravagant splurge was on her favourite perfume. “I’ve never owned it because in my right mind I would never spend that much money on perfume, so I’ve been saving all my Boots points since forever and when I’ve got enough I was going to use them to buy the perfume. But when you’ve got concussion, it makes you think differently, and I realised how much quicker I would be able to get the points if I bought the perfume first. So I did!”

Further uncharacteristic activity included having tea at the Wimpy, trying on a pair of knee high boots that cost more than a skiing holiday, and having a chat about make up with the ladies on the Benefit counter at Banbury’s. Caroline then went home and hit the internet, buying top price theatre tickets and a three night stay in a hotel during the Christmas break.

A spokesperson said “If Caroline’s concussion wears off before the credit card bill comes through, then we anticipate a further head injury when she faints at the size of the bill. We are just thankful that Pets at Home was closed by the time she got there otherwise she would probably have come home with a bearded dragon and a carpet python.”

2 thoughts on “Concussion sparks reckless shopping spree

  1. Over the years Maggie has come up with some amazing excuses for excessive retail therapy but your’s takes some beating! You had better be sitting down when the credit card bill arrives!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *